Any relationship that takes so much effort is the wrong one.
I like a sentence very much: comfort is like the wind in April and the rain in September. It is comforting and refreshing.
A good relationship is comfortable, there is no humble flattery, there is no awkward perfunctory, there is plenty of tacit understanding and freedom for you to listen to me.
after half a lifetime, you must understand that any relationship that takes so much effort is the wrong one.
Real feelings, no need to please
Su Cen said, "I would rather be alone than go against my will. I would rather regret than make do with it."
in a relationship, pandering to a person is like wearing a pair of shoes that are not the right size, which will only make your feet red and swollen.
A really good relationship doesn't need to be flattered or begged. Because the love that reaches out the hand, like the ice in the hand, is doomed not to last.
writer Liu Yu once told a story:
during her study abroad, she met a girl, and after they came and went, the two became acquainted with each other.
Liu Yu wanted to heat up this relationship and made her a friend, so she often went to chat with each other, but she took the initiative for a long time and finally gave up.
Liu Yu found a topic to chat with her, and the girl responded coldly, and the pleasantries ended as soon as they began. Liu Yu talked about her views on a matter, and the girl was tit-for-tat and then turned into a debate.
Liu Yu figured out that any relationship that goes to great lengths to maintain must not be an ideal state.
at a certain age, after experiencing something, you will no longer want to please anyone, and you will be with whoever you are comfortable with.
like a poem by Gu Cheng: the grass is knot its seeds, the wind is shaking its leaves, we stand, do not speak, it is very beautiful.
A truly comfortable relationship, there must be no need to please, no trouble to maintain, no need to please, even if they are silent to each other, they can feel sincerely comfortable.
although the circle is small, it is good to be comfortable
A good relationship is as soft and inclusive as water.
Yang Jiang and Qian Zhongshu are a couple in the literary world. They know each other and have been in love for decades.
Yang Jiangsheng's daughter could not go home while she was in hospital. Qian Zhongshu was at home alone. On the first day he went to the hospital to see his wife. He said, I'm sorry, I dropped the ink on the tablecloth.
how difficult the ink is to wash off, but Yang Jiang is not angry, just a knowing smile, comfort her husband: "never mind, I can wash."
Qian Zhongshu came to the hospital the next day and said he was sorry, but I broke the lamp. Yang Jiang, still smiled and said it doesn't matter, I can fix it.
when he learned to strike the first match to light a fire for his wife, Yang Jiang asked him, "can you use matches?" Qian Zhongshu held up the match and said proudly, "that's right. I can strike a match."
being with people who are comfortable with each other, you are comfortable and at peace of mind. You don't have to be careful. You can be careless and casual. It's the best way to keep healthy.
being with uncomfortable people is tantamount to poisoning each other and committing chronic suicide.
like self-abuse is a kind of morbid. Run a circle, not in size, but in whether it is comfortable or not.
the luckiest thing is to have an energetic environment for making friends, spending time with comfortable people and making your mood as bright as the sun and warm as a warm lamp.
looking back on the half of my life, too many meaningless people and things occupy the time and space of life, and have spent naive efforts trying to maintain every relationship.
if a relationship has to pay a huge price to maintain, it is doomed to no long-term fate.
if you can't hold the sand, let it go. If you don't feel comfortable, just break up and say goodbye to two widths.
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do not cater to, no longer please, although will leave some circles, miss a group of people, but run a really comfortable circle, in order to make their own life happy and comfortable.