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the former Soviet educator Sukhomlinski once said:

"in the garden of the human mind, the plainest, most beautiful and most ordinary flower is man's upbringing."

then what is upbringing?

cultivation is the cultivation of one's culture and moral character, a kind of rule that one has learned since childhood, and a kind of respectful attitude of dealing with people and doing things.

Feng Yiyin said in remembering Father Feng Zikai:

"born to raise it, raise it and teach it. Upbringing is the best gift that a family can pass on to its children. "

upbringing is education and cultivation

upbringing is the education and cultivation, the inheritance of culture and the norm of acquired learning.

A person's upbringing is not inborn, but the good qualities and habits formed by acquired learning and education and the atmosphere of the whole body, and the virtue precipitated by life experience and spiritual practice.

when we are born with a blank sheet of paper, we doodle the rest of our lives, and a person's upbringing is based on his own learning and norms.

people say that parents are the first teachers of their children, and the family is the cradle of their children's growth.

Family environment is the basic factor for children's healthy growth, and parents' conduct affects their children's upbringing.

it is said in the three-character Sutra: if you do not teach, your father will make mistakes; if you teach lazily, your teachers will be lazy. If you are not educated, your parents and teachers will be incompetent.

"Ximeng Mother, choose the neighbor" only keeps the children away from those bad factors and creates a good educational environment for them.

Mr. Hu Shi once recalled his mother and said, "if I learn a little bit of good temper, if I learn a little bit of kindness in dealing with others, if I can forgive and be considerate-- I have to thank my loving mother."

it can be seen that their own family atmosphere and the conduct and behavior of their parents will gradually permeate the conduct and upbringing of their children in their lives.

Chesterfield of England said:

"the so-called good upbringing is different in almost all countries and even in one region; every sensible man will imitate and keep pace with the good upbringing of his place."

as the saying goes, "if jade is not carved, it will not become a tool; if a man does not learn, he will not know righteousness."

if you want to distinguish right from wrong, you have to learn to be a person of noble character, and to be an educated person, you have to learn, learn to correct yourself, live in the world, and deal with others.

cultivation is the cultural accomplishment emitted from inside

Dmitri Likhachev said in on upbringing:

"A good upbringing comes not only from family and school, but also from yourself."

but the premise is to understand what real upbringing is.

upbringing, which comes from the heart, is a kind of internal quality integrated by growth environment, educational foundation, self-experience and so on.

whether a person is educated or not is not only polite in behavior, but also pays more attention to its cultural connotation and moral cultivation.

among them, culture not only refers to cultural knowledge, but also a kind of consciousness formed by the combination of behavior habits and spiritual values.

writer Liang Xiaosheng said:

"Culture is self-cultivation rooted in the heart, self-consciousness without self-reminder, freedom based on restraint, and kindness for the sake of others."

once, on the way downstairs, Lenin came across a female worker carrying basin water upstairs. When the female worker saw that it was Lenin, she hurried to make way for Lenin.

Lenin stopped it and leaned against the wall to let the girls pass first. at the same time, he said, "you don't have to do this. You have a basin in your hand, and I'm empty-handed. Please go first!"

Lenin spoke warmly and the word "please" was very loud.

this is a daily trivial matter, but it reflects the greatness of his inner quality. He is not arrogant and insolent with his noble status, but the kindness of giving convenience to others.

Cultural accomplishment is a kind of temperament emitted from within, which is an invisible force emitted from self-cognition, self-education, self-learning, and precipitation to a certain extent.

whether a person has a culture or not does not depend on his or her educational background, but whether he has the temperament and self-cultivation that has been virtually precipitated.

people with culture can always find beauty and hope in things, and they are full of great yearning for a bright future.

upbringing is different from politeness but depends on politeness

upbringing, which comes from the heart, is a comprehensive internal quality accomplishment after time training and standardization, and it is a behavior habit in dealing with others.

politeness, which is an external behavior, is a kind of courteous behavior that can be pretended by imitation and deliberation, and it does not necessarily come from the heart.

well-bred people are always polite.

A polite person is not necessarily a cultured person.

if a person is golden on the outside and cannot practice both inside and outside, such a person is not educated and can only be called a "hypocrite".

A person with sharp teeth and sharp mouth does good deeds behind his back. We cannot say that such a person is educated. We can only say that he has a kind heart and a knife mouth and a tofu heart.

in daily life, after a quarrel, we can always hear the person who persuades the quarrel say, "Don't be like him. He's just like that. He has a bad mouth but a kind heart. Don't mind him too much."" Wait a minute or something.

but he forgot that the speaker was careless, the listener intended, and the injury was often in those one or two words, and after the injury was riddled with holes.

"good words are warm in three winters, but bad words hurt people in June." educated people will not be open-mouthed, nor will they use venomous and kind-hearted as an excuse; on the contrary, educated people are comfortable to get along with.

Goethe said:

"No politeness can make people see the lack of upbringing at a glance. The correct upbringing is to show both outward politeness and noble upbringing."

cultivation is self-restraint and heart-to-heart comparison

"Cai Gentan": "educated people, do not blame others for minor mistakes, do not send people private, do not think about people's old evil."

cultured people do not condemn other people's minor mistakes, do not casually expose other people's privacy, and do not talk about the disadvantages of other people's past.

upbringing is reflected in the details.

it is not to read jokes, let alone make others feel embarrassed or despised.

Locke said: "the essence of upbringing is not to show any contempt or insult to anyone in a relationship."

educated people will not let others feel embarrassed. After offending others, they know how to reflect on themselves and adjust their behavior in time.

when you are reading in the library, you can choose what you like to read, but do not talk loudly, this is your personal upbringing.

when there are people resting in the public area, you can't always make noise and affect others.

otherwise, you are of low quality and ill-bred.

whether a person has the highest upbringing depends on whether he knows how to care about other people's feelings, whether he knows how to compare his heart to heart, and whether he will make the people he or she associate with feel cordial, comfortable and satisfied.

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Grimmelshausen said:

"the mind of a man without education, knowledge and practice is like a field. Even if this field is naturally fertile, it will not bear fruit without ploughing and sowing."

A person's upbringing is the foundation of his foothold in society.

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Internal self-cultivation attracts like-minded people, external behavior and etiquette bring each other closer, and internal and external cultivation is a barrier to the stability of all relationships.

upbringing is a major topic in life, which requires us to spend our whole life studying it.