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ID: nnsg1021

No empathy, only cold and warm self-knowledge

have you ever experienced that when you are full of sadness and want to talk to someone, only to find that there is no one around you to talk to?

or, when you finally make a phone call and tell a lot of bitterness, you only get a few understated words of comfort.

No matter how hard you try to express it, your pain, grievance and sadness don't seem too good to others.

in the end, is your obsession too deep, or is the person around you too indifferent?

in fact, neither, but that life itself is a matter of self-knowledge.

the experiences you have had, and the emotions you feel right now, are unique to you. No one but yourself can empathize with it.

as the Buddhist saying goes: joys and sorrows pass by themselves, it is difficult for others to understand.

you should be more aware of this when you are at the bottom of your life. The first step to get rid of sadness is to recognize

realize that only you know yourself best.

if you are still pinning your hopes on others to save you and release you, you are doomed to return full of disappointment.

it is said that the deepest sense of powerlessness of adults is to swallow all the bitterness alone. But when you look at it, you can see who isn't.

this huge world seems to be very lively, but in fact, deep in my heart, it is just connected by one isolated island after another.

on his own island, everyone is fighting against the tide from all directions of fate.

very often, just to swim across their own sea is already very difficult and tired, how can there be much spare power to take care of you?

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so, really don't blame others for not understanding you just because you don't have a good life.

Life is a protracted war, and along the way, you will inevitably go through all kinds of tests.

when you are at a low ebb, practice being a quiet adult.

digesting your emotions, relying less and letting go is the best way to accomplish yourself.

there is a kind of self-cultivation called not complaining

A hundred years ago, Mr. Lu Xun created an image in the novel Blessing.

this is a woman with tragic experiences and is used to relieving her despair and helplessness by complaining to everyone.

in the end, she was greeted only by the end of a nervous breakdown.

this misfortune places Lu Xun's heavy thinking on the fate of women in the context of that era, and it is also a warning to future generations, warning us:

Don't open the scar to others at will. What others see is lively, but what hurts is yourself.

complaining too much is tantamount to painting cakes to satisfy hunger.

seems to vent your emotions for a while, but in fact it will only make you complain more and more bitter.

because in this process, you not only repeatedly poke your own pain, but also continue to convey and create more negative emotions.

No matter how close you are, you have no obligation to be your emotional trash can all the time.

there is a question on Zhihu: "what is the most popular person to chat with?"

the highly praised answer is: don't talk too much, don't share forcefully, don't ask for privacy, and don't expose yourself easily.

it is not because you are weak that you are right.

on the contrary, any relationship that feels increasingly depressing and uncomfortable will come to an end sooner or later.

people respect people only when they respect themselves.

learn to think of others even when you are at a low ebb.

allowing yourself to speak appropriately and not to complain excessively is not only self-cultivation, but also wisdom.

get through the trough and bloom.

there is such a sentence in "Sheepskin Scrolls": if you share happiness with the wrong person, you will show off, and if you are sad to share the wrong person, you will become hypocritical.

think about it, it's true.

most of the time, you may not be so sad, just want to talk to someone.

but when you realize that others simply can't understand how you feel, and even your pain seems a little ridiculous in their eyes.

this disappointment can sometimes be more realistic and hurting than it is.

in your opinion, a great grievance, in the eyes of others, is just a story. It's as simple as that.

admit and accept this whether you like it or not.

maybe once we all had a lot of illusions about life and a lot of expectations for others.

but after experiencing difficulties, we must begin to learn to grow up, learn to face reality squarely, and understand such a truth: all sentient beings suffer and have no choice but to make their own way.

in this world, no one lives more easily than others.

behind many enviable lives, there are unknown hardships and difficulties. Many people have walked through those dark and difficult times alone.

therefore, instead of feeling sorry for yourself in the trough, it is better to turn it into a period of cultivation and a period of value-added.

from being too simple to hide a little emotion, to showing no expression of joy and anger, it means that on the road to maturity, we finally have the ability to communicate withTheir own reconciliation, but also in the experience of the years become softer and stronger.

Life has its ups and downs, high and low.

as long as you keep calm, keep your mouth shut, and withstand hardships, there is always a time when the clouds will see the sun.

I know you are really sad and have a lot to say, but please believe that it is better to ask for help than to ask for yourself.

sort out your emotions, put the story in your heart, and move on firmly and steadfastly. What you want now will be available in the future.

only those who have been tempered in loneliness can shine in silence.

I hope that one day, we will all be able to live up to the hardships we have suffered, tide over the troughs and usher in a new life.