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A family is made up of father, mother and children.

what kind of family children can have and what kind of growth environment they can have depends on how family members build and manage them.

some people say:

the father is the pillar of the family, shouldering the responsibility of the whole family, while the mother is a Poseidon needle at home, taking care of the luck of the whole family.

therefore, the pattern of a father will determine the height that the whole family can reach.

and the bearing of a mother will determine whether a family can be happy and harmonious.

the pattern of fathers determines the life direction of their children

We often say that one must have a "pattern" in order to succeed. Among them, the "case" is the personality, and the "bureau" is the vision and mind.

A man's personality, vision and mind not only determine how far he can go and stand on the road of life, but also affect his next generation.

A man without a pattern can never support a family.

I still remember that in the popular TV series "everything is fine", there was a character that all viewers hated to gnash their teeth-Su Daqiang.

as a husband, he evades the big and small things in his family, is cowardly and does not take responsibility, and puts all the responsibilities of the family on his strong wife.

as a father, he is even more unqualified.

his wife preferred boys over daughters, and she was so indifferent to her youngest daughter that she was not even allowed to go to school with excellent grades.

but his father, Su Daqiang, did not even say a word of justice for his daughter.

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in the process of his children's growth, Su Daqiang was stingy, selfish, irresponsible, only for his own sake, and had no pattern at all.

when his children grow up, he makes more efforts to suck the blood of their children.

he asked his children to follow his wishes in everything, otherwise they would cry, make trouble and hang themselves three times, often threatening each other with their lives.

Su Daqiang never understands that children also have their own sufferings and difficulties, but is a variety of demons, intentionally or unintentionally sow discord between them, making the family restless several times.

such a bad original family environment left a deep psychological shadow on the youngest daughter, and the eldest brother and the second brother were both upset by their father and fell out with their wife.

the role of the father should be like the front of a train, and the father's "pattern" is the track.

only when the front of the car keeps moving in the right direction along the track can it lead the family members behind to a better and broader future.

Ye Shengtao once said:

the four talented women of the Zhang family in Jiuru Xiang, whoever marries them will be happy all their lives.

these four talented women refer to Zhang Yuanhe, Zhang Yunhe, Zhang Zhaohe and Zhang Chonghe.

and the reason why they are so gentle and dignified, with both ability and political integrity, can also be attributed to the cultivation of their father Zhang Wuling.

Zhang Wuling is not only addicted to books since childhood, but also keen on running a school for the public good when he grows up. His ten children are also full of poetry books.

in terms of raising his daughters, Zhang Wuling does not want to turn them into boudoir girls who do not come out of the door, and the names they have chosen for them are not half vulgar.

he also hopes that his children, whether boys or girls, must be broad-minded and broad-minded.

later, his daughters all found a good match that they could entrust for a lifetime, and his six sons were all outstanding and well-versed in Chinese and Western learning, which made a story in modern Chinese history.

as the old saying goes, "the beloved son of parents is far-reaching."

A father with a big pattern will understand:

the so-called "far-reaching plan" is not to put your children on the road to fame and sudden wealth.

it is to train the child to be a person with long-term vision, pure mind, integrity and courage, and open mind.

Mother's mood affects the temperature of the whole family

Lai Peixia, a psychological counselor, once said in her speech "Why is Happiness so difficult":

when your mother lives in sorrow all her life, do you dare to be happy?

the answer is very difficult.

it can be seen that without a gentle wife and warm mother at home, it will be a disaster for both husbands and children.

Chen Ting is such a suffocating mother in the hit drama "in the name of the Family".

when she was young, she went out to play cards and locked her young daughter and son at home, but her daughter got stuck in her throat when she ate walnuts and died early.

as a mother, Chen Ting could not digest her inner remorse and put all the blame on her husband and young son.

she was paranoid, violent and indifferent at home all day, either shouting at her husband and complaining that he was ignoring his family, beating and scolding her youngest son, and hysterically saying that he had "killed his sister."

the whole family has become full of chicken feathers because of this emotionally unstable mother.

if a mother in a family is emotionally unstable and moody, the atmosphere at home will get worse and worse, and the child will become more vulnerable, sensitive and cautious.

on the contrary, if a mother at home can be tolerant and gentle, knowledgeable and reasonable, the atmosphere at home will become warm.

Children who grow up in such a family will also become optimistic, confident, sunny and cheerful, and learn how to accept the love of others and how to love others.

"Liu Jing, as a mother in Little Joy, left a deep impression on all the audience.

Liu Jing is gentle in nature, but she also has her own unique strength.

whenever there are differences and tensions between her husband and son, she can always speak out her truth slowly, point out the crux of the problem, and use her wisdom to solve all the conflicts in the family.

once, the husband was so angry by his son that she gently comforted her: "after all these years, you haven't caught up with your mother's death, and it's not your son's filial piety."

Liu Jing is not only gentle to her family, but also sympathetic to strangers.

once, she heard that a boy who was admitted to Tsinghua University jumped out of a building because his parents forced him to learn a major he didn't like.

other parents are saying, "it's so irresponsible and fragile that I don't know how to think about my parents at all."

but she sighed: "normal people who are not afraid of death, if not afraid of death, it must be too painful to live."... "

under the influence of such a kind and gentle mother, her son Ji Yangyang also grew up from a rebellious teenager and found his own way forward.

if the father is at the helm of a family, then the mother is the lighthouse that brings light and warmth to everyone.

in a family, the mother's mood will not only directly affect the atmosphere between the family, but also play a decisive role in the formation of children's character.

as Hong Lan, PhD in psychology in Taiwan, said:

Mother is the soul of the family. If the mother is happy, the whole family is happy, and when the mother is anxious, the whole family is anxious.

only when the mother has a good mood can the husband and wife fall in love, the family can be harmonious, and the children will thrive and eventually become great.

Family harmony is the best feng shui.

after writing numerous works and reading the prosperity and sorrow of the world, the writer Goethe sent out this feeling:

whether he is a king or a farmer, family harmony is the happiest.

as the saying goes, family and everything is prosperous.

A harmonious family is inseparable from an honest, kind-hearted and open-minded father, as well as a gentle, virtuous and considerate mother.

with such parents, you can grow up in an environment full of joy and love.

the best feng shui in a family is the father's pattern and the mother's good mood.