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have you found that you can get good results in a relationship?

is often not those who give affectionately, but those who seem to be "unaffectionate".

to others, they are moderate, untroublesome, undisturbed, and still less entangled;

to themselves, they are the most responsible, do not follow the trend and live their lives at their own pace.

people who are "cold by nature" are not heartless, indifferent and arrogant, but a kind of mature and wise.

because when a person knows exactly what he wants, he or she can do well in any relationship.

to others: know what to do, don't pester

Cai Kangyong once shared his own experience on the program:

he was once dragged into a group chat by his friends, and a lot of invalid information made him crazy.

the constant tone of mobile phone prompts and ten-second messages have a great impact on his life.

so he decisively gave up socializing and just dropped out of the group chat.

incident, he was once complained of being "unsociable".

but he didn't care about other people's comments, but said generously:

"you don't want to be honest with everyone, because it's too tiring.

interpersonal relationships exist for you, not because you work hard for them. "

as the saying goes, "the friendship between gentlemen is as light as water". Simple and insipid is the best social state.

I like to settle everything. I don't like to disturb others. I don't like to be disturbed by others. I only do my best for people and things that are worth it.

my cousin is such a person, not only does not like to socialize, but even a little "heartless".

when I was a child, girls would go out on weekends to shoot stickers and go to small shops, but my cousin never went.

even when I grow up, I seldom watch my cousin attend classmate reunions and friend weddings.

keep a distance and be polite to everyone except a few close friends.

when she came home for the Spring Festival, my aunt mentioned that several friends of my cousin were in the interior design and building materials business in their hometown.

set up to let my cousin take advantage of the Spring Festival to get in touch with her feelings and help me when decorating.

was suddenly rejected by her cousin, and it was difficult for my aunt to understand her aloof brain circuit.

my cousin made it very clear: if you can solve things with money, you will never bother your friends.

it is true that there is a sense of division between people and each other.

Don't try to get anything from the other person, so you won't get too many requests from each other.

this is a courtesy, a safe, but also a comfortable way to get along.

some people say: "80% of the troubles in life are caused by interpersonal relationships."

if you lighten your feelings and your friends, you can solve a lot of troubles.

people who are too affectionate with anyone and everything will one day be fettered by this affection, and that kind of life is very difficult.

to yourself: the most responsible, not to follow the trend

the famous host Dou Wentao is a very thoughtful and thorough person.

A guest in a certain program said that despite the fact that Dou Wentao was talking and laughing in the program, he was actually a person who did not like to socialize in the program, and even deliberately hid on some occasions, preferring to read at home rather than go out to dinner.

there was an issue of "Roundtable School" talking about living alone, and Dou Wentao revealed his private life.

he said he could stay alone without anyone for a month.

he knows the word loneliness and loneliness, but he has never felt that way.

Lu Yu once asked him, "what are you doing at home alone?"

he replied:

I am very busy when I am alone. I want to have breakfast. I want to see this picture. I want to read that book. There are still hundreds of episodes of British and American TV series to watch, and you have to walk a treadmill every day.

in the program, you can chat and discuss with people from all walks of life and from all over the world. therefore, you can collide with a lot of interesting ideas and make your favorite programs.

has always appreciated this kind of person who can pull away from self-attention in complexity.

they can distinguish the boundaries of each role and the relationship between themselves and others.

live a real, thorough life, colder than anyone, and understand better than anyone.

this is true of celebrities, and so are ordinary people.

there is a question and answer on Zhihu: why do many people not like to take part in departmental dinners and activities?

the next high praise replied:

"at this time, I would have finished my meal, comfortably nestled on the sofa after taking a bath, and watched the show with a mask."

Today's society seems to be blindly pursuing the concept of "gregariousness".

but meaningless socializing will not only get no benefit, but will only make you more and more confused.

low-quality social interaction is not as good as high-quality solitude.

look for empathy and approval in books, watch other people's lives in movies

even if you spend time buying food, cooking, arranging flowers and decorating the room, doing such a small thing is much happier than "pseudo-gregarious".

spend time on yourself that doesn't last long.

treat the body like a bystander.Everything on the side is thin and sober.

Caigen Tan says:

"with a cold eye in the lively activity, you will save a lot of bitter thoughts; if there is enthusiasm in the cold place, you will get a lot of real interest."

keep calm in enthusiasm and keep simple in complexity.

wedding dresses for little girl are everlasting subject of fashion which show off your exquisite femininity. We are here to help you look glamorous.

in essence, 99% of the things that happen around us every day are meaningless to us and others.

so you might as well learn to live with a little love and love yourself a little deeply.

people who are "cold by nature" deserve the most deep acquaintance

Schopenhauer said:

"people are like hedgehogs in the cold winter. If they are too close to each other, they will feel tingling.

if you are too far away from each other, you will feel cold; one must live at a proper distance. "

and people who are "cold by nature" know more about the sense of distance, so they are more worthy of deep acquaintance.

being unkind is not ruthless, but being rational and independent.

the rabble says:

as soon as people arrive in the group, their IQ drops seriously. in order to gain recognition, individuals are willing to abandon right and wrong and use their IQ in exchange for a sense of belonging that makes them feel safe.

when you are alone, you will have more room to think, be rational and calm.

you don't waste your time in other people's lives because of the so-called "gregariousness".

so don't live in the results of other people's thinking and be bound by rules and restrictions;

Don't let the noise from other people's opinions drown out your inner shouts.

the ability to be alone, more rational, less emotional, more thinking, and less following the trend.

unkind love is not the absence of love, but the use of deep feelings in the right place

Mr. Qian Zhongshu, some people say that he is frivolous and arrogant, some people say that he is mean and mean, and some people say that he does not understand the ways of the world.

to the outside world, someone graciously invited him to a banquet, but he said directly, "I'm very busy. I'm not going!"

Foreign readers insist on seeing him, but he also rebuffs coldly:

"if you feel good about eating an egg, why do you have to know the hen that laid the egg?"

the true affection is just like Mr. Qian Zhongshu.

in the troubled world, dedicate unlimited love and limited time to the people you care about.

for the rest of your life, I encourage you to be unsentimental.

it is not necessary for everyone to know each other deeply and intimately, but to know each other like a spring breeze, courteous, appropriate and comfortable for a long time.

you don't have to be too affectionate in everything, but you can deal with the world calmly, or you can get out quickly at any time to keep yourself out of jail.

things go on and on, and many times, a word, a person, a relationship, will change the course of your life.

do not ask for full seats, but seek simplicity and freedom, not great joys and sorrows, but ordinary wishes.

years are long and energy is limited.

May you save your best mood and energy for your loved ones.

May you enjoy the silence and be affectionate and not let down.