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on the hot list of Zhihu, I saw a topic: "what is the most selfish person you have ever met?"

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@ Yang Jianhong

, I suddenly understood why people had changed.

the main answer is that all three generations of the family grow apples. They have lived a hard life since childhood, and they have been very frugal after work, but they are still very loyal.

once, a colleague who had a nodding acquaintance borrowed money from him, saying that he was still short of NT $20,000 to buy a house. If he wanted to find the respondent to make the transition, he would return the provident fund to him.

as soon as the main person thought that buying a house was serious, he took 20,000 yuan to lend him an emergency.

however, after half a year, my colleagues did not mention the repayment of the money, so the respondent needed the money at this time, so he went to ask.

unexpectedly, the colleague said as if nothing had happened,

"Ah, I didn't buy the house if I didn't see the right one, and your money was idle, so I got a time deposit.

now house prices are rising fast. If I earn an extra penny of interest, I can be more lenient when I buy a house. "

the respondent was speechless, and it took him more than two years to get the money back.

the funny thing is that my colleague looked "vicious" when he returned the money and said he would never borrow money from him again.

after all this trouble, the respondent also began to re-examine the relationship around him.

probably many people think that if I am loyal to others, others will do the same to me.

do not realize that people's hearts are not things that can be exchanged equally, and sometimes the higher the expectation, the greater the disappointment.

so you've changed and you're starting to understand.

not everything, others can empathize

I have read a short story, which is quite meaningful:

when a little monkey was looking for food, his belly was scratched by a branch and left a lot of blood.

it tells everyone about its pain and shows them the wound.

everyone sighed after reading it, but after a few words of comfort, they went on their own way, and did not remind it to go to treatment as soon as possible.

later, the little monkey who opened the wound again and again died of wound infection.

an old monkey said that the wound was not fatal, it was killed by himself.

if the little monkey had bandaged the wound from the beginning and did not beg others to understand its pain, it might have come to a different end.

and does such behavior look like a portrayal of most of us?

my own misfortune, my own sadness, and my own pain always think that if I talk to others, I can get sympathy from others.

others can only speak up for you, but they can't bear it for you!

when you open the wound again and again, you don't get any real comfort from others. In the end, it's yourself who hurts.

so you have changed.

become cautious, no longer talk to everyone, become defensive, and become indifferent.

because you know that there is no real empathy in this world. Things don't belong to you, and you never know how much they weigh.

for most people, other people's business is just a story. Listen to it, talk about it, and it's over.

the only one who can really understand you is yourself.

therefore, if you digest your worries by yourself, and no matter how hard you are, you can also carry thousands of troops.

not everyone can accompany you to the end

my friend Lan Lan was depressed for a long time when she broke up with her ex.

she never knew that she could still fall in love so long.

she and her ex fell in love for five years and tortured each other for five years, and finally, her ex's "inappropriate" took away all her expectations.

she has wept silently for countless nights, complaining about his ruthlessness and cruelty, and typing in the dialog box for a long time, but she never had the courage to press the send button.

she was afraid that the same answer would make the wound open again.

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after almost a year on and off, she received a message from her ex: "would you like to have dinner sometime?"

Lan Lan said that her heart was flustered at the moment she saw the message, but after the calm, she still typed a few words: "it's not necessary."

her ex was unwilling to send a few more messages, but she never replied.

my friend said, I just suddenly realized that he just came to my world for a walk, so why should I hold my whole heart out?

at the beginning of every relationship, both parties promise to last forever, but no matter how passionate the relationship is, they cannot hide from the grindstone of time.

not everyone can accompany you to the end, and not everything will be what you want it to be.

as said in the Dead of Mountains and Rivers: "everyone can only walk with you for a while, and sooner or later they have to be separated."

if you lose a relationship, you may be temporarily depressed, you may be unwilling, you may fall from then on, but you will be reborn.

later, you changed.

become less obsessed with things that don't have results.Become no longer chasing people who are out of touch with you.

because you finally understand that some people just leave, some feelings fade away, and the movie always ends after watching the movie.

Life is like a journey, mountain journey, water journey, each section of the road has a specific scenery, each stage will meet different people.

some people, without looking, are in the dim lights; some people, desperately want to stay, but a boat has sailed through the mountains.

so, emotional things just let nature take its course, the road ahead is long, and there is always someone worth waiting for.

it's not that I've changed, but that I understand

in adulthood, we often hear the saying, "you seem to be different."

when you hear this, you may smile without giving any explanation.

because only you know, it's not a change, it's an understanding.

everyone is born with a clean, flawless piece of white paper, but in the big dye vat of society, it is dyed in a variety of colors.

when you get hurt more, you become defensive;

when you are cheated more, you begin to be on your guard.

the more people are deceived, the more cautious they become.

only after experience do you know who can fall in love and who should let go.

only when something happens do you know who can get to know each other deeply and who can't make friends any more.

in this world, nothing is immutable, feelings will change, age will change, thoughts will change.

but it is these changes that make them the hardest armor on you, protecting you against this restless world.

in the future, no matter when or what happens, please remember to live for yourself.

live a dripping and thorough life, live freely and richly.

encourage each other!

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