Fan Deng reads

someone in Zhihu asked: why are the smarter people, the less sociable they are?

A high praise replied: "they are not unsociable, they just do not blindly follow the crowd!"

I think so. They are not eccentricities or difficult to get along with, but prefer to be alone.

if you look at the smart people in your life, you will find that they are easy to get to know and there is no barrier to communication, but when you want to interact with them more deeply, there is always a layer of gauze.

it is said that the highest state of life is inner richness and peace, which can only be possessed when you are alone.

Smart people seldom socialize, not because they don't like to make friends, but because they have their own choices for friends and don't waste time on networking.

as Wang Shimin, author of thinking Power, said:

before your value is effectively established, don't waste your energy on the circle. If you have no exchange value, all social interaction is ineffective.

Smart people only associate with people of the same frequency

as the ancients said, "birds of a feather flock together."

anyone who has read "the Strange Theory" knows that Zhan Qingyun and Fu Seoul are two strong debaters. When they face each other on the stage, they are sharp words, quick thinking, and sharp needles, and the audience has the pleasure of being a match for each other.

two people with profound cultural heritage and equal strength can easily play games on the stage or communicate off the stage without causing discord.

people get along with others and pay attention to the ideological "perfect match". It is difficult for people of different frequencies to get together.

just like Lu Xun and the leap soil, when they were young, they went to the trees to catch birds, went to the sea to pick up shellfish, and went to the melon fields to thorn. Lu Xun's rich and colorful childhood made Lu Xun look forward to the arrival of the leap soil.

but thirty years later, the two met again, unable to find the intimacy and joy of that year. Leap soil is no longer in high spirits when he was young, but a submissive middle-aged man who has experienced many vicissitudes of life.

because of their different growth environments, they live in very different worlds; because of their different growth rates, they have gradually drifted apart in terms of values and cognition.

the status is so disparate that it can not create an equal relationship; if the value is not equal, the relationship will not last long.

as Bill Gates said:

"the world doesn't care about your self-esteem, it only cares about your achievements, and then emphasize your feelings."

Life is cruel and realistic, your abilities are not worthy of possession, and your hard-working contacts are of no value.

Life is not a monologue, people are all mutual, no one wants to be compatible with each other all the time, and no one can keep looking up.

good relationships are evenly matched, and only people of the same frequency can come together.

time is limited, leaving important people and things

Jobs said: "your time is limited, don't live for others, don't be limited by dogma, don't live in other people's ideas, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition."

Life is too short for us to wronge ourselves to ingratiate ourselves with others.

Don't waste your energy on meaningless things, cherish the present and focus on what you are good at.

on the Internet, I saw an 80-year-old grandmother Moses, who was old enough to spend her twilight years, but wrote novels and held art exhibitions.

her paintings are different, with sketches, oil paintings, flowers and animals, hills and gullies, each of which is lifelike, and her copy of Van Gogh's Sunflower is as warm and brilliant as the real one.

she loves learning and has published two influential books; she is more fond of painting and everything in life is the source of her creation.

A reporter asked her, "it is already a rare year, why do you still want to draw and write?"

she replied with a smile: "when I was a child, life was difficult and I had no conditions; when I was an adult, I had no time to make a living; now my children have got married and want to do something they like."

every day she not only eats, sleeps and exercises, but also paints and reads books, and occasionally has free time to socialize with friends who write and paint.

Feng Jicai once said: "mediocre people fill the void with excitement, and excellent people make themselves by being alone."

the rest of life is not long, to please others is not as good as to strengthen yourself, can not prolong the length of life, but can expand the width of life, increase the thickness of life.

Don't waste time on irrelevant people, don't waste energy on meaningless things, it's better to be alone than to be alone, and it's better to have two or three friends all over the world.

the smarter people are, the more they understand that in a limited life, set aside time for important people and things.

good connections, quality and value

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Han Han once said: "how far a person can go depends on who he is traveling with; how good a person is, depends on who he guides; and how successful a person is, it depends on who he is with."

this is true in the workplace, interpersonal and emotional world.

Anjie in "parents' Love" is an educated and worldly lady who is married to the navy and works as a teacher on the island.

she never takes part in gossip when her neighbors hook up with her; when her distant relatives get in touch with her, she is not involved in bits and pieces except entertaining.

Mr. GE, who is tired of work and bored with life, comes home for coffee and sits in the spring yard, tasting the fragrant coffee and talking.Ground.

even Miss Xia, a foreign sketcher, was attracted by Anjie's temperament, praised her as a "stylish woman" and invited her to be a model. When the three got together, they talked about the past and the present, talked about painting, and played the harmonica.

other family members are disgraced by firewood, rice, oil and salt. Anjie knows how to enrich his spiritual world in addition to his work and life.

A good network is a kind of nourishment. although Anjie is a mother of three, she is still dignified and elegant, loved by her husband, respected by outsiders, and lives like the envy of everyone.

A cup of coffee is enough time to sort out relationships.

"Energy is a precious resource, and bad friends will cling to people like leeches and slowly absorb your energy."

while high-quality contacts and frequent friends will inspire your enthusiasm for life.

clean up the negative emotions in time, transfer the positive energy to the relatives and close friends around you, and constantly reshape and improve yourself in the survival of the fittest.

really smart people tend to make few friends

Han Han seldom made friends before becoming famous, and his classmates laughed and played in groups, but he wrote his own story in a maverick way.

most people live like ordinary people, but he becomes a dazzling star in the literary world.

others say he is cold and unsociable, but Gao Xiaosong thinks Han Han is the most reliable friend.

during Gao Xiaosong's drunk driving accident, Dawusheng, which he directed, was about to be staged.

he only made a phone call to Han Han: "are you free to go to the show at the movie premiere?"

Han Han promised to publicize Gao Xiaosong immediately. He, who was still racing in other places on the day of the release, rushed to the scene to support Gao Xiaosong as soon as he finished.

the fact that friends are no longer expensive lies in the "essence". The sincerity in silence is far better than the crisscross on the wine table. Friends who send charcoal in the snow are far more tender than those who add icing on the cake.

as the writer Xue Xiao Zen once said, "when people reach a certain age, they go to recycle. In the end, they receive a couple of bosom friends and a cup of shallow tea to make their life the way they want it to be."

A really smart person will be friendly to most people, but only have a deep acquaintance with a few people of the same frequency. Time is life and value to him, and he must cherish it.

, encourage each other.