what determines our destiny

A man walked into a beautiful park in spring and said angrily, "this place is dirty and smelly. I'll never come back next time!"

and another person walked into the park at the same time, came out and sighed, "it's so beautiful!" There are flowers everywhere and refreshing fragrance everywhere! "

Why does the same park make these two people react differently?

it turns out that the first person went in and found that there was a lot of shit in the park.

so in order to prove that the park was dirty, he looked everywhere for dog shit under the flowers and focused all his attention on the dog shit, only to see the dirt of the park.

although he also saw dog shit, he always bypassed it because he knew that dog shit would also make flowers more beautiful and fragrant.

he devoted his attention to appreciating the vitality of spring and enjoying the beauty of nature and life.

this park symbolizes our world.

these two people represent two completely different modes of thinking of complaining and gratitude, as well as the two different destinies of failure and success.

different modes of thinking will lead to different patterns of behavior, resulting in a completely different life and a completely different destiny.

A wise man once said: what you see is what you get.

you get what you see. In fact, it is not knowledge and IQ that determine fate, but the mode of thinking that determines fate.

the easiest way to change your way of thinking and change your life is not to complain.

how powerful is it not to complain

while taking a taxi, a writer inadvertently took a very distinctive taxi.

the driver is neatly dressed and the car is clean.

seeing this sentence, the writer lit up in front of his eyes and thought, this driver is really different.

then the driver said, "would you like something to drink, please?"

the writer was even more surprised and asked, "do you still serve drinks in your car?"

the driver smiled and said, "Yes, I serve coffee and all kinds of drinks, and there are different newspapers."

the writer was in high spirits and asked, "can I have a cup of hot coffee?"

the driver poured him a cup of hot coffee from the thermos cup beside him, and then handed the writer a card.

card are the names of various newspapers and the programs of each radio station.

the writer immediately felt that the car was too special, so instead of reading the newspaper or listening to music, he began to talk to the driver.

on the way, the driver kindly reminded the writer whether there was a closer way to his destination.

the writer feels very warm.

so he asked the driver curiously, why do you charge the same fare as others? I take other taxis, and the drivers complain about traffic jams and income, but why are you so happy and provide such a comprehensive service?

driver replied, "in fact, at the beginning, like everyone else, I liked to complain about bad weather, meagre income, traffic jams and bad road conditions every day."

until one day, I overheard the idea in the book "the World without complaining" on the radio, saying that if you stop complaining in daily life, you can make anyone successful.

it suddenly dawned on me that my current bad situation is actually caused by my own complaints. So I decided to stop complaining and start to change myself.

first year: I just smiled at all the passengers and doubled my income.

the second year: I sincerely care about the joys and sorrows of all passengers and comfort them, which doubles my income.

third year: this year, I turned my taxi into a rare five-star taxi. In addition to my income, there is also a rise in my popularity. Now if I want to take my car, I need to call in advance to make an appointment. And you are actually a passenger I picked up on the way. "

it is better to complain than to change

it is better to change fate than to complain about fate, and it is better to complain about life than to improve life.

American social psychologist Festinger has a famous theory:

10% of life is made up of what happens to you, while the other 90% is determined by how you react to what happens.

this means that 10% of the things in life are beyond our control, while the other 90% are beyond our control.

this is known as the "Festinger rule".

he gave such an example:

when Castin gets up and washes in the morning, he puts his high-end watch by the washtable. His wife is afraid of getting wet, so she takes it and puts it on the table.

when my son got up to get bread on the table, he accidentally broke his watch on the ground.

Castin loved his watch and beat his son's ass.

then he scolded his wife with a black face.

the wife was not convinced, saying that she was afraid of the water to wet the watch.

Castin says his watch is waterproof.

so the two men quarreled violently.

in a fit of anger, Castin didn't have breakfast, so he opened it directly.The car went to the office.

when I was approaching the office, I suddenly remembered that I had forgotten my briefcase and immediately transferred home.

when his wife hurried home, she knocked over the roadside fruit stall. the owner of the stall held her back and asked her to pay compensation, so she had to lose a sum of money to get rid of it.

by the time he got his briefcase, Castin was already 15 minutes late and was severely criticized by his boss. Castin was in a bad mood.

I had another quarrel with my colleague over a trifle before I got off work.

the wife was also deducted that month's full attendance award for leaving early.

my son was expected to win the baseball game that day, but he was eliminated in the first inning because he was in a bad mood and did not play well.

in this case, the broken watch is 10% of them, and the next series of things is the other 90%.

it is all due to the fact that the parties do not have a good control over the 90%, which leads to a "disturbing day".

imagine that after that 10%, if Carstine reacts differently, for example, he soothes his son:

"never mind, son, it's okay if the watch is broken. I'll just have it repaired."

in this way, the son is happy, the wife is happy, and he is in a good mood, then everything that follows will not happen.

it can be seen that you can't control the first 10%, but you can decide the remaining 90% by your state of mind and behavior.

such stories have actually happened in each of our lives.

complaining leads to a whole day of unhappiness and even greater losses.

in real life, I often hear people complain: why am I so unlucky? there are always some unlucky things haunting me every day. How can I not stop and have a good mood? who can help me?

in fact, those who can help themselves

not others, but ourselves

what should I do?

there are only three kinds of things in the world, my business, his business, and God's business.

those who complain about themselves should try to accept themselves; those who complain about others should try to turn their complaints into requests; those who complain about God, please try to pray for your wishes.

in this way, there will be unimaginable changes in life, and life will be more beautiful and complete.

Life is a journey of choice. We can't control the environment and others, but we can always control ourselves.

grievances, complaints and contradictions will not solve our problems at all. On the contrary, they will make us absorb a lot of negative energy and affect our health and mood.

try to build a strong mind-- that is, when facing some difficulties and setbacks in life, don't complain, don't run away, face it, and solve it directly.

when reality is different from your expectations, don't complain, but ask curiously why?

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then change what can be changed and accept what can't be changed.

if you persist in this way for a long time, you won't always have a hard time with yourself or others.

to treat people around you, use the principle of "three noes, more than three":

"three noes"-- no criticism, no complaint, no accusation;

"more than three"-more encouragement, more praise, more praise.

what should I do if there is something wrong with my family or colleagues?

in life, you will find that when someone gives advice to others, others can accept it, but some suggestions will make others angry.

in fact, the suggested way is the most important, is the "sandwich"-praise, suggestion, and then praise!

slowly you will become a popular person everywhere.

excellent people are all people who don't complain.

they always sweep away negative thoughts from their hearts and fill their hearts with sunshine and hope.

Let us learn to be the people who create a good life by ourselves, and then influence others, so that the world is full of calm, happy and vibrant positive energy.

share these three magic words with your friends and experience the power of "don't complain" with them.