yichengzhang365

at the age of 18, the imaginary love should be the romance and beauty of "life and death, talk with your son".

but love is not an idol drama after all. When the mysterious veil is slowly unveiled, the undercurrent behind it is discovered.

for realists, there are many things to consider:

Economic conditions, values, potential.

it sounds like they are all "romantic killers", which makes people look forward to love at all.

but Cai Shaofen's story tells us:

Happiness can only be achieved by understanding reality.

Cai Shaofen, a real woman

recently, a speech by Cai Shaofen has become a hit.

in the variety show "my favorite Women" two years ago, Cai Shaofen shared with her best friend some changes after becoming a mother: especially afraid of death.

so every time before flying, she imagined that this was the worst-case scenario of their divorce and gave her husband a serious account of the "afterlife".

"if I have something to do, you must take good care of your two daughters. It's okay to get married again, find a woman who is nice to them. "

she is never shy about parting from life and death.

he even lightly added that if I left first, he would definitely find someone else.

after listening to Cai Shaofen's talk, Zhong Liti, the famous girl's representative around her, was surprised and immediately said "impossible":

"No way! Because he loves you so much. "

however, Cai Shaofen's answer directly shattered everyone's rose filter for marriage:

"forget it, be realistic.

"

I have to say, it sounds cold and pessimistic.

Choose the bewitching fit and flare wedding dresses only at a limited budget. Stop searching from over-priced retailers and buy now.

at that time, I was only surprised. How could this be like what a loving couple could say?

in the eyes of many people, since it is true love, it should be the only one for each other on Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling), and will never be separated from each other for generations to come.

but now, combined with Lin Shengbin's doubts about remarriage, Cai Shaofen's words seem to be somewhat reasonable.

do not easily talk about "till death do us part", extravagantly hope that after leaving, your partner will also be able to "defend yourself like jade" and stay in the original beauty.

netizens have praised Cai Shaofen for being "sober" and "living thoroughly".

but perhaps few people know that this is probably not innate wisdom.

No one does not yearn for the affection and beauty of a pair of people in a lifetime, and no one knows from the beginning that love is trivial and unbearable full of smoke and fire.

it comes at a price to break the dream bubble of love and marriage.

the number one in the entertainment industry is "beautiful and strong"

paying off debts for her mother, 18-year-old Hong Kong sister was taken care of in her debut

relying on yourself is the first lesson Cai Shaofen learned in his life.

growing up in a single-parent family is not easy:

Cai Shaofen, who has been missing sense of security since childhood, often calls herself "garbage" because she feels that her existence is an encumbrance to her parents, so she is abandoned.

she is afraid of being alone, so she often tries to give gifts to her classmates and makes friends in such a warm and ingratiating way. although she often moves, she can't make a few bosom friends at all.

not to mention, she got caught up with a carefree mother.

in the early years, my father was determined to divorce, but he could no longer stand the capriciousness of Cai Ma who often haunted the casino and almost lost all her family wealth over the past few years.

losing nine out of ten bets, Cai Shaofen spent his childhood in the door-to-door debt collection and crazy move of creditors.

finally, in order to get more gambling money, I came up with the idea of my daughter's beauty, hoping to send her into show business in exchange for her own wealth.

as Mama Tsai had hoped, 17-year-old Cai Shaofen stood on the stage of Miss Hong Kong for the first time and won the third runner-up.

but the "scandal" soon caught up with her--

this relationship that she still doesn't want to recall too much contains too much helplessness, but her mother's wish for a good life has finally come true.

Liu Luanxiong spends a lot of money, not only paying off hundreds of millions of debts for her mother, but also giving her at least three properties.

also held a million birthday party that shocked the whole city at the age of 18, giving her the most dreamy and luxurious bar mitzvah.

greedy words are in the head, and my mother's abacus jingles.

Cai Shaofen's repeated forbearance resulted in the aggravation of her mother's.

relying on the daughter of a big star and a billionaire son-in-law as a cash machine, Cai Ma is becoming more and more presumptuous in the casino, and gambling debts are getting bigger and bigger like a snowball.

even Cai Shaofen's aunt joined the "bloodthirsty clan" and began to ask her for money.

even in order to get headlines in the magazine, he took the initiative to find the media revelations: "Cai Shaofen volunteered to follow Da Liu."

when the old debt is not filled, the new debt comes again.

filial piety, like her, often falls into a breakdown:

"I can't stand it. All the money has been given to my family. There's nothing I can do about it."

it's actually good.I helped my mother pay off a lot of gambling debts a long time ago, and all the income was given to her.

three years ago, I had mortgaged two floors to pay off my debts. I thought I could repay all my debts, but I just learned that there were many more, as big as more than 5 million.

I'm so scared. There's nothing I can do. "

when can such a bottomless pit be finished?

although her mother succeeded in quitting gambling and the two got back together, the scars were literally engraved in her heart.

after reading Cai Shaofen's first half of her life, I can probably understand why she was able to say the first paragraph so rationally and calmly.

I grew up looking at people from an early age. I was used to the impermanence of the world and the warmth of human feelings, so I understood myself early:

the existence of this "time bomb" of her mother makes her have to sacrifice her best six years of youth to accompany a man she doesn't love.

know that his identity can not be on the table, so obediently do small and low, ambition ends in wealth, never thought of what to win the position and compete for favor.

even Bao Yongqin, the wife of Liu Fa, who was cut in crazily and claimed that "death will never forgive Liu Luanxiong," never said a bad word about her.

after waving goodbye and starting a new life, this experience also exerted a subtle influence on her emotional view:

good feelings may be real, but they must not be the whole of life.

Don't set your expectations too high, let alone expect others to be kind to you for the rest of your life.

after all, even flesh-and-blood relatives can also use you as a bargaining chip and tool in exchange for benefits.

this is the wisdom of life that Cai Shaofen gained with 20 years of suffering.

marry a poor martial arts master

she lives to be the happiest

everyone thinks that a realistic Hong Kong girl like Cai Shaofen lives too sober and thinks too thoroughly to gain sincere and pure love, and the ultimate destination is nothing more than a wealthy family clustered by female stars.

but her choice surprised everyone:

in 2007, Cai Shaofen married mainland martial arts actor Zhang Jin.

one is Sister Hong Kong's debut, the famous TVB.

one is a young actor who works as a double all the year round and hovers in the 18th line of the entertainment industry.

this also causes many Hong Kong media to use sarcastic words such as "get married", "upside down" and "soft rice man" when reporting:

No one understands their union. Everyone thinks that this is the story of the female star "falling in love brain" and the pretty boy "eating hard", which is destined to break up.

on the contrary, Cai Shaofen, who married Zhang Jin, lived a very clear life.

on the one hand, she is successful enough that she doesn't care about the gap in fame and status--

the generosity of fame and fortune, the peak of her acting career, which she did not see when she was young?

the heart is strong, and the mainstream mode of "men dominate the outside and women dominate the interior" in the traditional family relationship is naturally ignored, let alone obsessed with finding a partner who is "better than me".

I live on my own, so why do I have to keep comparing myself with my partner in the "strong or weak" defined by the outside world?

on the other hand, she doesn't want honeyed words, let alone the verbal promise of Tian Chang Di Jiu (Eternal Dumpling)--

"I raise you" is beautiful, but what can't be said when lovers love each other so much?

but when it comes to the critical moment, can love words be eaten?

it's good to marry love, but of course love is not everything.

, she pays more attention to the real things related to life.

for example, what she appreciates most is Zhang Jin's character.

"loyal to friends", "serious about work", "not to mention me".

such a "reliable and positive" attitude towards life deeply infected her, but also brought her a sense of marital stability and happiness.

this is why Cai Shaofen, who is married, has become a walking husband demon and husband promotion ambassador.

in her eyes, her husband is handsome, able to endure hardships, talented, good at singing and dancing, good at martial arts, and a great editing god.

it turns out that she didn't pick the wrong person.

the fate that the script of "strong women and weak men" is easy to collapse can be rewritten.

in 2015, Zhang Jin won the Academy Award for Best supporting Actor for his brilliant performance in the Grandmaster.

from obscurity to getting on the podium, he lamented in his acceptance speech:

"many people say that I can only rely on my wife for the rest of my life. Today I want to say, yes, my happiness in my next life depends on Cai Shaofen."

it was only then that everyone discovered that Cai Shaofen really seemed to have married a good husband.

but love is not a fairy tale. Of course, the husband of the male god can't get it with a few words of praise.

the skill of driving a man behind Cai Shaofen's "reality" is the biggest source of her luck.

Women have the best fate in reality

Roman Roland said: "there is only one kind of heroism in the world, which is to love life after seeing the truth of life."

apply it to loveProbably the same thing.

"realism" such as Cai Shaofen, everyone is curious:

how can one be happy if he sees through everything and looks down on everything and does not believe in true love or eternity?

but Cai Shaofen's wisdom is that she refuses to believe in perfect love and understands all kinds of ups and downs in love in advance. on the contrary, she is better able to adjust her state of mind and maintain the balance of a relationship.

to stay awake is not to worry unfounded, but to know everything, but still be able to live every day and manage your marriage with your heart.

you can also refer to Cai Shaofen's "ways of reality" here:

the key to rewriting an unbalanced relationship is not "I'll wait for you in place", but "I'll chase with you".

many people have a misunderstanding about Cai Shaofen, the "show-husband madman":

the reason why she worships her husband like a little woman in front of the camera must be to keep a low profile so that Zhang Jin does not feel inferior because of the gap.

after listening to all kinds of rainbow farts of Cai Shaofen, she even has the feeling that she has lost herself in love.

but everyone did not see that while her husband was running hard, Cai Shaofen did not make her husband stronger by weakening herself.

then constantly ushered in new heights in his career, and the Queen "Wulanara" in the Legend of Zhen Huan was deeply rooted in the hearts of the people.

evenly matched love is the achievement of each other.

what's more, she believes in her choice:

the imbalance is only temporary, and if the partner is really dazzling enough, how can he be afraid of being obscured for the rest of his life?

probably every couple who is passionately in love believes that love has the power to reverse one's temperament.

then naturally expect the other party to "change for me". Once they do not meet their own standards, they will have conflicts and are often disappointed in love.

but in reality, where can there be two people who are in perfect harmony?

as Cai Shaofen himself said, "the most important thing is not to expect others to change."

learn to respect differences and lower expectations, but it is easier to perceive happiness in ordinary trivialities.

there is no turning back in love with the impulse and courage, better know how to choose at the right time.

it is up to you to decide your life and ask for your own happiness.

this is probably the biggest inspiration for countless "Cai Shaofen":

We may all experience a bad original family and a bumpy road, but don't sink because of it, firmly and soberly embark on the road you want to go.

, may we all have a good relationship.

author

: