some time ago, I saw an interview video of Wang Han's wife Yang Lele.

in the video, she has two moments of tears.

once I talked about my son Xiao Mu.

after giving birth at the age of 36, she tried to return to work and found that:

all kinds of chores, such as her son's hematochezia and illness, forced her to devote most of her energy.

"anyone can return it, but I can't. What? I'll take care of the baby for you after you give birth. It's all a trick. In the most difficult time, only myself. "

there is another moment of tears, when I talked about my husband Wang Han.

married for 15 years, retired for 7 years to focus on taking care of children, may have neglected her husband, one day Wang Han said to her:

"you are a good mother, but maybe not a good wife."

"I am not good enough, thank him for his tolerance, thank him for his honesty."

only the last sentence paused for a long time, tears rolled in his eyes and choked up and said:

"I hope he understands me, too."

seeing this, netizens in the comment area said one after another:

"obviously I have untold grievances in my heart, but also thank my husband for his tolerance.

it is difficult for a woman to take care of her children and her husband's feelings.

what is it that you are not a good wife? if you are a good wife, it is too difficult to blame you for being a bad mother. "

Yes, women are in a really difficult situation.

Yang Lele's situation is not alone.

many friends around me say that since giving birth to a baby, my husband has been dissatisfied and feels neglected.

Yes, the wife may focus on taking care of the children and ignore the husband's feelings, but does the husband take care of his wife's feelings?

when complaining that "you are not a good wife", have you ever wondered if you are a good husband?

they thought it was enough to say "you are a good mother" first.

unexpectedly, adding this first half of the sentence, the harm is even greater.

it means that you know how much she has paid and sacrificed for being a mother, but you still have the heart to criticize her for not being a good wife.

not everything can be blurted out easily in a marriage, especially if you are not a good wife, even if you add a "maybe".

I'm not a good wife

are you both a good husband and a good father?

in the New Life Diary, Yang Lele shared his production experience:

on the day of the birth, she heard a bang in her stomach when she was about to fall asleep.

but Wang Han was sleeping. She thought he was too tired and didn't wake him up.

on the contrary, she immediately called her sister-in-law and asked if she was going to have a baby soon. as a result, she was not sure about the situation.

later, I woke up my mother and found broken amniotic fluid in the middle, so I woke Wang Han up.

can't bear to wake up, distressed too tired, not a good wife can do this?

Wang Han spoils his wife and takes care of his family, and often talks about his wife and children in the program.

but as the "pillar" of Hunan TV station, Wang Han, who is extremely busy in work and rich in interests, how much time does he spend with his wife and children?

he may be a qualified husband and father, but has he really been a good husband and father?

the reality is that many men are neither good fathers nor good husbands.

A friend of mine confided to me that after giving birth, it seemed that the baby was her own business.

she revolves around the child all the time, opening and closing her eyes.

asking her husband to help with the baby, he said, "this is what you women should do."

complaining with her husband about the tiredness of taking care of the baby, he said, "you gave birth to the baby yourself, so you don't take anyone with you."

she said that her husband came home later and later, and the two quarreled easily.

when she quarreled, her husband said that she was now so untidy that she couldn't have a good meal when she came back every day, and that her wife was such a failure.

is it really her failure as a wife?

do you still remember Shen Lijun, who jumped off a building and committed suicide at the age of 35?

when she got married, she gave up her acting career and devoted herself to her children and husband. But what about her husband?

during her pregnancy, she cheated on her and lived with her mistress for a long time.

all the money is given to the mistress, and it is too expensive to buy a pair of shoes for the children.

all kinds of dislike and indifference to Shen Lijun forced her to jump off the 28th floor at last.

so, mothers stop blaming themselves for not doing well enough.

most of the time, the problem lies with the husband and the father.

take care of a good mother and wife

behind it is endless grievances and sadness

taking care of a good wife and a good mother is a harsh requirement in itself.

I have a friend who has been trying to be a good mother and wife in the traditional sense.

according to the wishes of my parents, I found the right person at the right age, got married and had children.

work is also a leisurely job as a bank teller in order to better focus on the family.

she is a good mother and wife, but not long ago, she couldn't help breaking down.

she took up her seat with a pile of things and asked her husband and son to pick up dinner.

after a while, the husband and son came back with food, but not her share or what she wanted to eat.

she knows her son is still young, but what about her husband?

as a good mother and wife, she takes care of everyone in the family, but who has taken care of her?

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A male colleague once asked me why my wife's temper became worse and worse after she gave birth to children.

people who were once gentle become "shrews" and "shrews" in the twinkling of an eye.

I told him helplessly, because they want to be both good mothers and good wives. Tired! Yes!

in the South Korean TV series "wives I know", the husband calls his wife a "monster".

because she is untidy and has a loud voice.

after marrying him, she will take two children, go to work to earn money, and take care of the elderly. She is too busy to separate herself without touching her feet, but his phone can never get through.

the person who turns his wife into a 'monster' is none other than himself who lacks a father and husband.

Cheng Lisa in my wife's Romantic Journey spoils Guo Xiaodong to the point that she can't take care of herself.

but during a drunken chat, she said to other female guests:

"Don't be like me, really. I have had a very bad time in the past two years. All your time belongs to children and husband. I am very sad, really. "

Guo Xiaodong didn't even know what the key looked like in her house after more than 100 injections to fight for her second child, because she was at home every time she came back.

only you know the grievances behind the loss of the so-called good mother and good wife.

have a good husband first

makes a good wife

Venus once said, "Women are water. If you treat me with 0 degrees, I will immediately turn into ice. If you treat me with 50 degrees, I will be neither hot nor cold. If you treat me with 100 degrees, I will immediately boil."

you are a good husband and a wife is naturally a good wife; you are a good father and a wife is a good mother.

in "wife's Romantic Journey", the program group asks husbands to send their last wishes to their departing wives.

Zhang Jie said to Xie Na, "Don't worry. I have everything at home."

although it is not sweet words, but this sentence let Xie Na was instantly poked in the lacrimal gland.

couples with children can best understand the weight of this sentence, which means sharing, responsibility and responsibility.

Sister Na once shouted to Zhang Jie, "Brother Jie, I am not a very careful wife. I have not done a lot of things as well as other wives."

the way you treat your partner is the way you treat yourself.

what you give to your partner is what you give to yourself.

what men should do is to give mothers the greatest degree of encouragement and comfort, rather than blindly complain, escape and indifference.

I have seen such a video of brushing the screen.

the elderly father was a guest at his daughter's house and was busy as soon as he entered the door.

while making a work phone call, we urge the children to do their homework, cook, wash clothes, pick up the toys left all over the floor, and pour tea for the husband who is watching the computer in the living room.

the father watched all this in silence and left a letter of apology to his daughter:

"I've been wrong all these years, and now you have to take care of your home. I'm proud and guilty that you have to do this alone.

regret that I never told you that it is not your responsibility alone, and your husband is also involved. But I'm not qualified to talk about him, because I've never helped your mother.

people learn what they see, and your husband must have learned the same from his father. I apologize on behalf of every father who has set a bad example. "

the daughter looked at her father's letter of apology and could not help being aggrieved and sobbed silently.

she finally realized that she didn't have to be physically and mentally exhausted for the sake of the so-called good mother and wife.

Yes, there is no standard for a good wife and mother.

if there is, there is one and only one: live yourself well first.

I hope mothers will stop caring about whether they are a good mother and wife in the eyes of others.

stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty that you haven't done well enough.

apart from being a mother or wife, you are yourself first of all.

, may every mother no longer be criticized and be respected for her efforts.