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Gu Qinglin

Gu-QingLin

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there is a wind and moon in the world, but there is a fate.

the causal encounter between men and women coincides with that sentence--

"it is geography that you live at the head of the river, concubine at the end of the river, and drink the same river." If you tie the knot because of the admiration of love, it will be a tie between thousands of miles of marriage. "

but the word "fate" is deep and shallow. If you don't know how to cherish it, it will still be like the flowers in the mirror and the moon in the water.

even if you have entered into a marriage, every stage is a test, and no one can win this victory easily.

unless these four "don't" are achieved, the relationship will be evergreen and the relationship will be stable for a long time.

Don't give up on yourself easily

I often hear a saying: what are you still messing about when you are an old husband and wife?

in the minds of many people, marriage is not a tomb, but a strong fortress.

as long as you can walk into it, you will be quiet and carefree for the rest of your life.

in this state of mind, it is easy to lose the original heart of struggle and growth like a frog boiled in warm water.

like Luo Zijun in the first half of my Life, she graduated from college, was fluent in English and worked in a foreign company.

as soon as he gets married, he puts his will under the family and the man.

her husband said that when she raised her for the rest of her life, she really joined the family and ignored other aspects of growth.

there is a saying that is heart-piercing but sober:

"after marriage, the appearance of a woman is declining, while the talent of a man is thriving."

Today, the era of "you can turn white if you get married" is long gone, and the only guarantee is that you don't give up your efforts all the time.

only when we become rich and brave, can we have no fear of the passage of time and the changes of the world.

in the final analysis, whether a marriage is happy or not depends on itself.

keeping an upward heart forever is the most important prerequisite for a long-term marriage.

Don't often compare with others

whether couples or lovers, the most favorite thing to do is to envy other people's love.

for example, whose boyfriend bought her beautiful jewelry;

for example, whose wife cooks a good table for him at home every day;

for example, whose husband gets another promotion and a raise;

for example, whose girlfriend is beautiful and sensible.

then, in the "comparison" again and again, my inner expectations become higher and higher.

gradually, when you find out that the other person is not a good partner, you will begin to regret it, and then you will be disappointed.

Shakespeare said:

"all expectations are the root of all mental pain.

"

many people are used to setting too high expectations for their partner and adding too dreamy filters to their lives.

once the other party can't reach it, there will be a grudge, which will lead to a quarrel.

but calm down and think about it. Life is not a game. If you are always comparing and jealous, all you can get is "ask for but not get".

because no one can always pay for their vanity.

only by letting go of those so-called "expectations" and learning to face life with peace and tolerance, can we have peace and happiness over the years.

Don't force the other person to make changes

"you have an imaginary wife in your heart. You have set up what she should like, what she dislikes, and how to speak.

Why do you persevere in reforming me? After all these years, haven't you realized that I'm not who you think I am? "

in the movie "embarrassing Mom", his wife Zhang Lu's words drew people to reflect.

when their marriage was in crisis, husband Xu Yiwan specially repaired Zhang Lu's favorite desk lamp in order to repair their relationship.

I thought my wife would change because of this emotion, but Zhang Lu said, "I never liked this lamp."

in real life, many couples are like this.

I have an imaginary perfect partner in my heart, so I put it on my partner, hoping that my partner can get infinitely close to it.

but everyone has the right to choose their own way of life, even if they are as close as a partner, they should not force each other to live according to their own preferences.

Kant once said:

"I respect any independent soul, although I do not agree with some, but I can understand as much as possible."

respect and tolerance are the best lubricants in a relationship.

after all, marriage is not about one person doing his best, but about two people working hand in hand to help each other.

only by respecting and tolerating each other can the relationship remain the same.

Don't be unscrupulous and take it for granted

there is a song that says:

"the person I love most hurts me the most.

"

many people are used to showing the best of their politeness and temper to outsiders, but leave their worst emotions and worst habits to their loved ones.

my wife has been on a business trip because of a project in the company. When she returned home four days later, she found countless dirty bowls piled up in the kitchen.

then the husband said, "I thought you would be busy all day. Who knows you won't come back until 4 days, and if you don't wash, you will wash, so I left it."

my wife wept while washing, and then decided to get a divorce.

it's not because she washed a few more dishes, but because of her husband's natural attitude.

Zhang Xiaoxian said:

"A man's harm to a woman is not necessarily that he falls in love with someone else, but that he disappoints her when she has something to look forward to and fails to support her when she is vulnerable."

in any intimate relationship, relying on each other's love, becoming unscrupulous and deserved will only make the relationship worse.

after all, no matter how deep the love is, the one you love cannot stand the hurt again and again.

if you don't know how to give and give, you will gradually disperse.

years go by, but beauty grows old.

every sincere emotion is extremely precious.

as Duras said:

"Love to me is not the kiss of the skin, not one vegetable, one meal, it is an immortal desire, a heroic dream in a tired life."

there are no shortcuts to true happiness, only careful management and careful care.

for the rest of my life, take care of the people around you.