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I have seen such a joke on the Internet:

"the beggar was embarrassed to beg and starved to death;

the merchant is embarrassed to ask for the account, so he closes the door himself.

I'm sorry to express my love to the person I love, but the other person left with someone else.

I'm sorry to refuse, but as a result, the other party became more unscrupulous. "

most of the time, your troubles and grievances come from your "sorry".

Life is too short. Don't let "embarrassment" ruin your life.

you are embarrassed, always indulging others

writer Su Xin told the story of one of her friends:

the place where my friend Mengmeng lives is very close to work, and he walks to and from work every day.

at that time, her husband's driver's license didn't come down, so her garage was empty all the time. The neighbors in the same building scrambled to use her garage.

gradually, the neighbors saw that there was no car in her house, and it was a waste to have an empty parking space, so they simply stopped saying hello and used it for whoever got it.

Meng Meng thought that she didn't buy a car in her own family anyway, so let them go, and she didn't want to pursue anything else.

later, her family bought a car and needed to use a garage.

but when she told everyone that her family had bought a car and needed to take back the parking space, the neighbors pretended not to hear it, ignored her, and still occupied her parking space.

often her own car has no place to park, but others justifiably occupy it and give priority to guests, accusing her of being ignorant.

she is very depressed, obviously it is her own parking space, but it seems to be shared by everyone.

even if she was angry again, she would be embarrassed to say anything, thinking that she was a neighbor who bowed her head and didn't see her head up, so she put up with it.

but her embarrassment did not lead to peaceful coexistence, but connived at those people, hurting her again and again, discrediting her in the WeChat group, saying that she destroyed neighborhood relations.

in fact, when you choose to be patient when you should refuse, it is a kind of connivance to the other person.

the more embarrassed you are, the more embarrassed the other person is to embarrass you and the less they will take you seriously.

on the contrary, it is you who show your bottom line and principles at the right time, and refuse decisively when you should, so as not to let yourself fall into a passive position and be bullied.

especially like a passage: "Don't be embarrassed to refuse others, anyway, those who have the nerve to embarrass you are not good people."

sometimes, embarrassment is a kind of soft heart, too embarrassed, will only connive at those who take an inch.

this is the first time for everyone to be a human being, so don't be so embarrassed.

you are embarrassed, always wronging yourself

blogger

@ small balls

once talked about his own experience.

in the eyes of outsiders, she has a decent job, dressed in professional clothes and looks like a successful person.

but only she knows how much she has been wronged over the years.

forced to do a variety of jobs that do not belong to their own, serving tea and water is common, but also order take-out couriers for colleagues, type and copy all kinds of materials.

every time someone asks her, even if she is embarrassed to refuse, she pretends to be willing to do it. Over time, the work fell on her as a matter of course.

she was aggrieved, but she was embarrassed to say anything, so she could only keep silent.

even if she is on a business trip, her colleagues will try their best to get her to go.

once, a colleague was scheduled to go on a business trip.

as a result, a colleague called her at more than ten o'clock the night before, saying that there was something urgent at home and hoped that she could go on a business trip for her colleague the next day.

even if she had ten thousand reluctances, she had to agree to it in order not to disappoint her colleagues.

and she had already arranged a small party with her best friend the next day, but also fell through because of the airborne business trip.

she said that that night, she hung up the phone and got into bed and burst into tears.

she cried not because her date fell through, but because she hated herself so much. One more time she was embarrassed, her heart would be more aggrieved.

I believe you have the same experience:

"it is clear that your work has been piled up, but you are embarrassed to refuse when your colleagues ask for your help.

obviously do not want to go shopping, but the friend said it, there is no reason to refuse;

I obviously wanted to refuse some requests, but I didn't have the courage all the time, because I was really embarrassed. "

once read such a passage: "We feel embarrassed because we often look at ourselves in the eyes of others and think about our own problems."

afraid that they can not meet the requirements of others, afraid that others will have a problem with us, so they dare not say no, do not dare to express the most true self.

the wiser a person is, the more he knows how to throw away his embarrassment.Bravely express his dissatisfaction and wishes, let the other party know that such a request, let him very uncomfortable.

while accomplishing others, they will not wronge themselves.

Life is short, and the most important thing is to make yourself comfortable.

so don't let your "embarrassment" become a reason why others don't take us seriously.

your embarrassment is missing out on your life

netizens of Zhihu

@ small lucky

told the story of a friend.

A friend works in an agency unit. Because of his excellent work, within a few years, he was promoted to head of the department.

after he became a supervisor, he was not in a good mood.

the reason is that after he became a supervisor, he was embarrassed to assign more work to his subordinates, so he had to carry a lot of work on his own.

he has stayed up late countless times, and sleeping on the sofa in the office has become the norm.

because he was embarrassed to sacrifice his colleagues' weekend time, he could only apply for a business trip on his own initiative and was still busy with all kinds of work on the way to the business trip.

for a long time, he had to fight alone, doing a lot of jobs that he was embarrassed to assign to others, and a lot of jobs that he was embarrassed to send out.

due to his long business trip and irregular diet, he suffered from serious stomach trouble.

suffering both physically and mentally, he is not only less and less efficient at work, but also has doubts about his own life, and even feels that he is going to be depressed.

Promotion was originally a matter of celebration, but because of his embarrassment, it became a yoke, restricting his way of life.

I have read such a paragraph:

people who are confident in their hearts always know what they want, know their strengths and weaknesses, what goals to set, what methods to take, and what actions to reject, so they are rarely embarrassed.

when we are alive, we may all be unable to open our mouths.

but those embarrassed mouths will eventually turn into twists and turns in our hearts, controlling our hearts and manipulating our lives.

Let us always struggle with our own thoughts and fail to take the most important step.

the more embarrassed you are to express yourself, the more you will fall into a state of self-isolation.

only when you are sure of what you want, will you have the courage to say it; only when you are certain of where your goal in life is, will you have the courage to go on.

you will really be embarrassed to express and live a good life.

especially like the passage: "whatever makes you feel embarrassed, do it at once, or time will wear away your courage completely."

say what you are embarrassed to say, say it immediately, or keep it in your heart for a long time, it will only become an unspoken voice.

refuse what you are embarrassed to refuse immediately, or hesitate to accept it, or you can only accept it unhappily.

you are embarrassed to assign tasks, so you should assign them immediately, or you will not dare to do so after a long time.

if you are always concerned about the feelings of others, how much energy can you spare to worry about your own feelings?

Be ready to buy yourself the elegant semi formal wedding dresses and stand out in a crowd. Spend time and consider this selection.

you seem magnanimous and kind-hearted by being patient and flinching because you are embarrassed.

but this magnanimity and kindness is based on the harm done to yourself and will not last for a long time.

the longer the time, the easier it is to indulge others, hurt yourself, and may miss your own life, the loss outweighs the gain.

May you quit being embarrassed, express yourself bravely, and live unrestrained life for the rest of your life.